Introducing… Parenting Adults – Trust, Truth & Trampolines
As the sun rises you open your eyes in anticipation of today’s family birthday. This birthday is not like all the others for it marks the beginning of adulthood for your child. Today your son or daughter becomes an adult! At first you think you are free. Free from carrying the burden of dependent children, free from resourcing them, free from serving them in more ways than you ever imagined pre kids. Then, you start to grieve the loss of all of the above.
Your child is now an adult so does that mean that parenting is done? Does it mean you are redundant, not needed and free of all responsibility as a parent? Absolutely not! However, does it mean that parenting will look different? Absolutely yes!
My husband and I have three sons who have all reached that mysterious phase of adulthood. The transition to parenting an adult was much different than I expected. To be honest it felt very odd. On the one hand I was excited to have “graduated” from parenting a dependent child (however I quickly realised in many ways that was a myth). And on the other hand I wasn’t sure how to manage the emotions that came with letting go of control (if I really ever had control) of my child, the one who held my acute attention for almost two decades. Then on another hand (as a parent you seem to need more than two hands) I was trying to work out what life looked like for me beyond parenting young children.
As I reach out and commence this blog it might help to give context of my experience as a mum. At the time of writing my sons are all in their early 20s. The oldest is married and no longer lives at home and the other two still live with us in Queensland, Australia.
My qualification to write this blog is simply 20 plus years of being a parent. I do not have a degree in psychology nor do I have years of experience in education or training. This blog will not delve into matters of trauma. Nor will it seek to help parents move from a bad relationship with a children to a good one. I simply want to share my story with the hope that some parents, somewhere will be inspired to be better parents to their adult children. To move from a good (or neutral) relationship to a great one!
This blog series will centre around three concepts - Trust, Truth and Trampolines. The inclusion of trust and truth are probably understandable within the framework of parenting however you might wonder about the idea of trampolines. I could give a sneaky preview of this but then you might not be curious enough to read on so for now I’ll let you wonder what that might entail.
Over the next few blogs I plan on introducing you to the topics of Trust, Truth and Trampolines. Then if you are still with me we’ll explore each of these in greater detail. I invite you to come on the journey with me as I share some of what I’ve learnt so far…
Time to reflect:
How do you feel you are going in your relationship with your adult child?
Take a moment to list out three things that you are celebrating in that relationship and three areas that are challenging you.
I’d love to hear from you if you have any questions or want to join the conversation around parenting adults. Please reach out to me!